Navigating life as an AuDHD artist can feel like a dance between two contrasting worlds, each demanding its own rhythm and attention. Much of this I am only just learning to understand myself.  At the heart of this journey lies a complex interplay of traits: autism’s need for structure, routine, and deep analysis, and ADHD’s thirst for novelty, spontaneity, and the struggle to form lasting habits. 

For instance, my autistic brain finds peace in predictability, needing things organised in a certain way to feel secure. Each morning begins with the same familiar routine, a foundation that keeps me grounded. However, my ADHD can throw a curveball, easily distracted by the allure of something new—a project that pops into my head suddenly, or someone demanding my time during those crucial morning moments. One stray disruption, and my carefully crafted routine unravels, leaving me overwhelmed and struggling to regain stability for days.

Social interactions present another contradiction. My autistic brain overanalyses every detail, seeking clarity in social cues and instructions. I crave meaningful connections, yet find myself drained by the effort of deciphering social nuances. Meanwhile, my ADHD gets overly excited, can over-share, and struggles to stay focused on conversations or follow through with tasks that require sustained attention.

Balancing these dual forces goes beyond daily routines. I often feel the urge to say yes to every opportunity, fueled by my passion for exploration and creativity. Yet, the fear of overcommitting looms large, a constant reminder of past burnouts. Structure provides a sense of security, but too much structure can feel stifling. I crave excitement and spontaneity to keep my creativity alive and thriving.

As an AuDHD artist, my journey is one of resilience and adaptation. It’s about embracing the strengths each trait brings—meticulous attention to detail, seemingly boundless creativity, and a unique perspective—while navigating the challenges they pose. It’s a delicate balance of honouring my need for structure and routine, while allowing room for the unpredictable bursts of inspiration that define my artistic expression.

But it is in this dance of contrasts that makes me who I am as an artist— shaped by the interplay of autism and ADHD, weaving together moments of clarity, creativity, and constant growth.  I continue to learn how these two parts of me work themselves together to allow me to be who I am.

At 61, I finally got an official autism diagnosis. After decades of navigating ADHD, Giftedness, childhood trauma, anxiety, and that constant feeling of not quite fitting in, I discovered that ADHD, Giftedness, and Autism CAN coexist. I had spent years running support groups for ADHD and Autism, but it wasn’t until recent research made it clear that they can be diagnosed together that everything started to click into place.
Looking back, it’s clear to me now how much of my life was spent in pain, without even really knowing why. As a young adult, I became obsessed with psychology, past life therapy, life coaching, and Motivational Kinesiology... I was trying to understand people and myself, but something always felt like it was missing. I thought I was broken, and I spent so much energy covering it up, masking, overcompensating, and trying to fit into a world that never seemed to make sense to me.
But why now, after all these years, you might ask? Well, it took a while for me to find the courage to b e assessed and finally seek a diagnosis. But when I did, everything began to fall into place. And the best part is the weight lifted from my shoulders: I can now say with confidence  that I’m not a “broken horse,” (to borrow a well known cliche)  I’m a zebra. I’m wired differently, and I can now start to be proud of everything I’ve ever achieved. For so long, I have felt like the odd one out, constantly out of sync with everyone around me. But learning that I’m autistic was a revelation. It felt like finding my tribe, discovering that I wasn’t quite the misfit I always thought I was.
I’m so grateful for my autism diagnosis, even though it came later in life, but I’m also incredibly grateful that I was diagnosed with ADHD 30 years ago, as it allowed me to guide my children, who are both ADHD, and offer support to other neurodivergent people during those years. That said, not recognising my own autism for so long does leave me with a sense of grief, that I didn't expect, for the "missed" life, opportunities, and experiences that could have been different if I had understood myself sooner.
Living with AuDHD, Giftedness, and dysgraphia in a neurotypical world isn’t ever going to be easy though. We unfortunately live in a society where our differences are often viewed as a “disorder” that needs to be fixed or hidden away. So being AuDHD is still going be tough, sometimes painful, and for those of us who didn’t know we were autistic until later in life, it can be especially isolating. After all, we have spent years feeling like we were missing something fundamental, like everyone else was part of a Circle we never got invited to join or never wanted to join. It’s hard not to feel like an outsider.
For me, finding the autistic and especially the AuDHD community has been a healing journey. It reminds me that even though my brain is complex, lonely, and exhausting at times, there are others out there with similar brains. This connection is what I’ve longed for—people who understand what it’s like to feel like you don’t quite belong, but who also understand that your divergence from the “norm” is not a flaw, but a different way of existing. Even if I ultimately do have to deal with my brain alone, it’s comforting to know that there are others who share this level of complexity and divergence too.

Feel free to reach out if you are part of this tribe of "zebras".  There are more of us than you'd think.

It’s been a while since I properly introduced myself, so here we are. I’m Jane Marin—artist, illustrator, bookbinder, and creative guide behind Jaaneman Art.
Art has always been more than just a creative outlet for me. It’s my sanctuary, my compass, and the way I make sense of a world that often feels overwhelming. As someone who is neurodivergent, I’ve come to understand that my creative practice is also how I self-regulate, find calm, and reconnect with myself when everything feels a little too much.
You may know me for my Oracle card illustrations or my portrait paintings of strong, resilient women—figures who carry quiet messages of strength, love, and wisdom. Sometimes, a gentle masculine energy steps forward too. These characters often feel like messengers from another time, whispering stories that want to be remembered.
Bookbinding has become just as vital to my creative rhythm. There’s something grounding about stitching pages into form, about turning discarded materials into something meaningful and beautiful. Each journal I make becomes a little vessel for someone else’s story—a safe place for reflection, mess, and magic.
Through my ‘Gather and Create’ workshops, I invite others into this process of remembering and rediscovery. These gatherings are not just about making art, but about reconnecting—with creativity, with community, and with the parts of ourselves that need care and expression.
In the months ahead, I’d like to start sharing more about my journey as a neurodivergent artist—what it looks like behind the scenes, and how it shapes the way I create, teach, and live. If that resonates with you, I hope you’ll join me.
Here’s to finding beauty, healing, and meaning in the everyday.

Angela Norval
Bundaberg Today, Friday 13 August 2021

Artist, dancer, intuitive energy healer, life coach and more, Jane Marin of Jaaneman Art shares the beauty of the world with others.

It is easy to see why Jane has been named a s a finalist for this year's AusMumpreneur Awards in both the Creative Entrepreneur category and the Rural Business category, considering the awards are designed to recognise the growing number of women who successfully balance motherhood and business in a way that suits their life and family.

The AusMumpreneur Awards presented by The Women's Business School celebrates and recognises Australian mums in business achieving outstanding success in areas such as business excellence, product development, customer service and digital innovation.

Living in the Bundaberg region on a sugar cane farm with her husband of 33 years, Livio, they have two adult children, Levana and Demetre and a grandson aged 2 with another on the way. 
Jane works as an illustrator for various publishers/writers and sells her mixed media artwork, workshops and gift lines through her website, her own art centre, galleries and local artisan collectives.  She also has regular stalls/stands at energy and wellbeing expos throughout South East Queensland.  At Wattle Cottage on the family farm, Jane runs art workshops and retreats in a beautiful supportive environment.  Having studied and used creative expression and alternative healing methods to overcome many hardships, health issues and adverse life events, Jane now uses her experience to help others to heal their own lives.  The inspiration to begin her art business came when a series of dreams prompted her to create mandalas which were put together to eventually form "The Mandala Oracle" cards.  These cards landed her work as a freelance illustrator for a couple of publishing companies, but it was when she started to receive feedback from customers, describing how they could feel powerful energy emanating from her work that her life changed.  She began by selling her work at wellbeing and energy expos and eventually built a new business plan which focussed on her mission to heal people with art, love, light and connection.

Jane is delighted to be named as a finalist and is proud of her achievements, particularly the purchase of a Lotus Belle tent to increase space on her property for the running of art retreats - the first of which occurred in may and has been a dream for some years.

"Being a Mumpreneur, has meant the freedom to finally find my true calling.  It has meant being able to work to my own timetable - fitting in between parenting and now grandma duties" she said.
"It means I have been able to choose what I do and when I do it."
"It can be challenging to be a successful business woman while raising a family and I have personally given the advice for others thinking about starting their own enterprise to tell everyone what you are doing.  It is amazing how many people would love to help you succeed.  It is important to remember that you follow your heart and soul, however.  Not everyone will be on your side, but stick with those that are.  Believe in yourself and keep on going."
​

I instantly fell in love with it and contacted the seller to learn more about it.  It turned out to be originally made in Brisbane, but had been used in an old shop in Childers - so it was local.  It's history drew me in even more.  I decided I had to have it and arranged to pick it up from town in a few days.

I purchased my beautiful antique cash box and turned to leave saying "Thankyou so much" as I did.  To my surprise, the lady said, "I actually need to thank you."  "Why?" I asked.  

She then told me that she had recently bought a painting of mine that seemed to speak to her from the Artisan shop where I had my work.  She told me that her husband had recently passed away and that she was finding it very difficult to move forward.  She had been unable to sort his things and change anything in her home - which she really wanted to do.  My painting had drawn her in and so she had purchased it.  She told me that it had been the catalyst for her to move on.  She had put up the painting and set the wheels in motion.

The silky oak cash register pictured below is now a reminder to keep going, that what I do does make a difference - Oh and it is a wonderful place to store my labels, safety pins and other bits and bobs in my office.

It was such a beautiful reminder that I asked her permission to share it.

​

This year for the second time I entered the 2020 Roar Awards.  These are Australian Professional Industry Awards and I was drawn to them because they have a category for Artists, Creatives and Musicians.  I entered last year in 2019 and was blown away to be in the top 5 finalists amongst such an amazing group of men and women.  This year I made it to the top 3 and was awarded a bronze award.  The callibre of contestants this year was phenomenal and I still can't believe I'm up there with the best.

It really made me think about my journey and how far I've travelled in the past year and ultimately where I have come from during my life time.

I thought that I would share my submission answers with you below.

Tell the judges about yourself, your business and what you do? 
​
​I am Jane Marin, 57, artist, dancer, intuitive energy healer, life coach and more.  I live in the Bundaberg region of Queensland on a sugar cane farm with my husband of 32 years, Livio.  We have two adult children, Levana and Demetre and a grandson of almost 1 year.

Throughout my life, I have studied and used creative expression and alternative healing methods to overcome many hardships, health issues and adverse life events and now use my experience and learnings to assist others to heal their own lives.  I am passionate about helping people “find their heart and soul” - their joy.  This, I believe, is what life is about.

I work as an illustrator for various publishers/writers and I sell my mixed media artwork and products created from them, through my website, at my own art and wellbeing centre and through a local artisan collective at Bargara - Artisans 4670.  I have regular stalls/stands at Energy and Wellbeing Expos throughout South East Queensland. 

I run art workshops at Wattle Cottage Art and Wellbeing Centre on our farm, teaching participants how to find their own “art and soul” in a beautiful supportive environment.  These workshops are for small groups of no more than 8 participants and consist of one half day “Coffee Cake and Canvas”  and one full day workshop per month. I’ve also recently added “Art in the Vineyard”  a fortnightly art morning at a local Winery.   I believe that everyone has an inner artist, so I teach techniques and introduce ideas so that each person leaves with a piece of art true to themselves and that they can be proud of.

Wattle Cottage is a part of our farm history.  My husband’s family were tobacco growers in the Bundaberg district and the sheds and infrastructure are what I have converted into my studio/workshop space, shop and wellbeing centre where I run art, dance and meditation workshops.  We were recently featured on ABC Landline. (https://www.abc.net.au/news/rural/2020-08-02/bundabergs-tobacco-growing-past-lives-on-in-relics/12512422)

I also work with women and teens through such organisations  as YMCA Youth 360(underprivileged youth), Edon Place (domestic violence)  where I run a course of 6 x 2hour art journalling workshops based on my book “The Me Book - A Journey of Self Discovery”  and Richmond Fellowship  (mental health) who enjoy full day workshops where they create a completed canvas.

What was the reason and inspiration behind starting your business? 

The inspiration to begin my art business came whilst working as a scrapbook and photography teacher.   A series of dreams prompted me to create mandalas or circular artworks from my photography which were put together to eventually form “The Mandala Oracle” cards which I self published.   These cards became very popular and landed me work as a freelance illustrator for a couple of publishing companies.  

This experience was the catalyst that changed my world.  It was the first time in my life that I had listened to and actually followed my intuition about what I wanted to do. 

I began to receive amazing feedback on my mandalas and illustrations from clients and customers, describing how they could feel powerful energy emanating from my work. This prompted me to begin to study more about the healing power of light, colour and symbols. It also motivated me to learn to paint, which was something I never thought I could do.  When the opportunity to attend a series of intuitive painting lessons came up, I took it.  After a few lessons I felt myself able to tune in to spirit with my art in the same way I did with healing. I began to paint from my intuition, not my emotions, and eventually found that I had created a whole new modality for healing.
I began selling my work at Wellbeing and Energy Expos and eventually built a new business plan, which focused on my mission to heal people with art, love, light and connection.

What makes your business unique?  How do you stand out in your industry?  
My art itself has something special.  Described by many as “healing art”, each piece is infused with energy intended to “heal” the person for which it is destined.   The pieces of art that I create challenge the idea that art is simply for decoration. The energy I channel through these paintings is my way of helping others heal, and one of the reasons I love to paint. What you feel when you look at a piece of my art is more than an interpretation, it’s the vibrations that are infused within it. 
My paintings can also be physically infused with healing essences, quartz crystal and sometimes gold, all of which heal through their individual and combined vibrations. If something lifts your vibration, it is good for your health - physical, emotional and spiritual.

My workshops on the other hand, teach that absolutely anybody can be creative when we learn to relax and tune in to our heart and soul.  My students start the day with meditation, journaling and occasionally yoga or dance and then we paint.  Participants leave with an artwork to be proud of. 
Although there is usually a subject or a plan to my workshops, I teach techniques and ideas and then allow each person to find their inner artist. There is no right or wrong when your art comes from the heart.
Our workshop space is very peaceful and relaxing surrounded by canefields and natural bushland. 

Each person has challenges/obstacles to overcome.  What were some of yours and how did you overcome them? 

Following a difficult and abusive childhood, at aged 18, I contracted Ross River Fever resulting in nervous breakdown followed by diagnoses of  fibromyalgia and ME.  I  was bedridden for over six months and the fibromyalgia and chronic ME continued for more many, many years.  I developed severe depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia and was told I would be on medication for the rest of my life.  
Arthritis in hips, fingers and shoulders developed during my early 20’s and was then diagnosed with severe food and chemical intolerances.   This led to being house bound for more than a year as I was severely sensitive to car fumes.  However I dropped all of my medications and began to study alternative healing techniques.  This reawakened in me a healing gift that had been dormant since my early childhood; an ability to heal with my hands.  

In the year 2000, a car accident resulted in neck and back injury. An X-ray taken immediately after I had given myself an energy healing showed nothing but light in the areas on which I had been working.  This proved to me that the energy healing was real.  
However, as I began to recover physically and whilst bringing up two extremely intelligent and active children, I realised that I no longer knew who I was. It was time to heal myself mentally and emotionally.  I began playing with the creative arts including journaling, photography and various crafts.  I wrote “The Me Book”  a book of questions and prompts for journaling, as a way back to myself and began teaching it at a scrapbooking group.  I began to realise that teaching what I had learned was part of my life purpose.  
Using all of my knowledge and gifts seemed a natural progression and so I began so I started my healing practice, which slowly evolved to Jaaneman Art.  

What are your future goals/ambitions and how do you propose to achieve them? 

I am now working on expanding my timetable to include art retreats next year at Wattle Cottage.  As Wattle Cottage is a registered farmstay, I am looking at the addition of a “Glamping” experience with belle tents for overnight stays.  Perfect for my “art and soul” retreats.  This will enable women to travel and stay at Wattle Cottage overnight for weekend (or longer) group retreats and workshops. This had been planned for 2020 but with the Covid-19 set backs, other priorities came to the fore.
This year gave me the push I needed to put together a series of video workshops which are available to purchase on my website and PDF worksheets that I will put together to make a book of intuitive art lessons.  This will enable me to teach women all over the world. I think it is important to share workshops that absolutely anyone can do even with no knowledge or experience with art. 

Also on the cards for next year is an open studio bus tour in our region to take visitors to artists and artisan studios who are “off the beaten track”.  We have many in our region (including myself) who are too isolated to be part of the local tourist trade.  And many artists on rural properties miss out because they can’t afford time and money for travel to have exhibitions or market stalls, so why not take tourists to visit their studios.  Once again this was something planned for 2020, but has had to be put on hold.

If you could start your business again, what would you do differently?

If I could start my business again, I would ask for help right from the beginning, especially with financial and marketing assistance.   I struggled along on my own for so many years. Our farm and family was first priority for me for many, many years, so when it came to my business, I didn’t think that what I did was important enough to ask for help.  
If I could start again, I would treat my art as a business right from the start, talk to someone about loans to get my infrastructure in place instead of trying to do it all myself.  I would have found the money and the support strategy to reach so many more women in need of my art and workshops.  I guess it’s all about listening to your intuition and following your heart.  I now understand that my heart and soul never lead me astray if I actually listen.   I knew in my heart that I had something to offer not only other people but also a way to subsidise an unpredictable farming income.

If you could ask someone who has carved the path before you one question, what would it be and why? 

How do you build an online following?  I have my online workshops and shop ready to go, but when it comes to building an online following my knowledge and confidence are holding me back. I’m also on a tight budget.  I would like to have money coming in from the online side to support the face to face work that I do.

Why did you enter the Roar Awards and why do you think you should win your category? 

I entered this award because I want to ROAR.  I want to let people know that life is what you make it.  Just because someone told you that “no one will ever love you”,  you’d “never amount to anything”, just because you don’t want to “use your brain”, just because you are in to “arty farty, airy fairy nonsense” - all of which I was told on a regular basis -  doesn’t mean it’s true.  I doesn’t mean you can’t be a success.  In the words of  Maya Angelou “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do and liking how you do it”.  
I love who I am, I love what I do and how I do it.  I have had the courage to face many hardships in life and I haven’t just accepted who I am, I have “allowed” myself to live my truth.  This process I share with all I meet through conversation and by example.  

I believe that what I do is unique and its effect ripples through those that come in contact with it. My art heals, it connects and it changes the way we look at our surroundings and our practices. I paint to help people overcome their struggles, to bring joy to their life and love to their hearts, and I run my workshops bring people together to share creativity and help heal souls in a way that is gentle, loving and safe. 

My love for what I do, and for those I help, is my driving force to achieve my goals, and is my motivation for entering these awards. Winning this section would not only be amazing for my business, but would allow me to reach so many more women who would benefit from my art and my workshops. It’s for these women I have entered this competition, and for these women I believe I should win. 

FINAL WORD

Every aspect of our lives can be improved by tapping into our innate creative energy. 

We all have a creative soul.  We are ALL born creative.  How could we not be?  Whether it is music, dancing, painting, writing or any other creative expression, we all have it deep inside of us.   How about Engineers, teachers, farmers?  All can benefit by tapping into that creative soul.  I believe that creativity is not learned, but the opposite - it’s often buried on the way to adulthood.

As a small child I was passionately creative and I had clear picture of my purpose in life.  I won my first national UK art award at age 3.  In my teenage years I discovered graphite and photography BUT THEN it all stopped. A troubled and unforgiving childhood took its toll.   It would be decades and hitting rock bottom as my own family prepared to leave the nest, before my heart finally cracked open enough to reach inside my soul to my creative self and begin to heal my life from the inside out.

I rediscovered, rather late in life it would seem, that the purpose of existence is to find joy and happiness and this can only come with a connection to the universal life force and the  infinite love of all that is.  
Many of us have to go through trauma after trauma to learn this lesson, but creativity is the way back.  It teaches us how every single thing in this universe vibrates with energy and affects everything around it. 

My paintings are how I share that energy, my joy and the infinite love of the universe.  I work on paper and canvas using acrylic paints, pencils, collage, water colour, pastels and whatever takes my attention.  I rarely begin with a clear picture of what I am about to create.  I work with many layers and the images evolve.
Through my workshops I’ve helped countless women (and men) find their creative spark reigniting a joy of life.

The biggest lesson I learnt has been to throw out all of the RULE books associated with the arts.  They crush the creative soul.  I did it with dance and became a soul dancer, I did it with art and became a soul artist  (I’m working on my music and writing!)  

Links


Website:                www.jaanemanart.com    

Social Media:        www.facebook.com/JaanemanArt    
                               www.instagram.com/JaanemanArt    
                               www.linkedin.com/in/jane-marin2963    


        
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(Yes, that's me on the right.) 

There is nothing quite like a 40 year High School Reunion to make you feel your age, right? Well I was surprised.  It didn’t do that for me at all.  What it did do however, was to remind me of how very far I’ve come.   It reminded me of the power of the mind and how changing your thoughts can literally change your life.

You see those years were probably some of the worst years of my life both at school and at home.  I lived my senior school years in tears each and every day. My life had become a helter skelter, a downward spiral both emotionally and educationally.  I was an emotional and physical wreck.  I hated school and I hated home and I had become very good at hiding it.  I had gone from absolutely loving school to just wanting to escape. I took every opportunity I could to “wag” school and hardly anyone even noticed.

I was born a gifted child with high IQ (163 at age 7)  with hyperactive child syndrome (ADHD)  a thirst for knowledge and a love of learning. I had a reading age of 12 when I started school at 4, working with the older children right from the start.  (There is another story in this - for a later page)

I loved flouting my intelligence and throughout my infants in UK and early primary school years in NSW it was never a problem.  Due to my father’s work, I was backwards and forwards between schools in different towns each year and each new placement began with an intelligence test so that the teachers knew where to place me in the class, what reading to give me and which library books I was allowed to borrow.  I loved astounding my teachers with the results of these tests and I was treated to extra reading material, quizzes, and fun things to do.  During the school holidays I would work through maths text books two or three years ahead.  I loved this too and was so proud of myself when I came to the end of a book.  But things didn’t go so well as I got older.

My father’s work relocated him to a new town for three years and I was stuck at the same school from grade 5 to grade 8.  My grade 5 teacher had no patience for someone who was so far ahead.  He refused to allow me to work at my own pace and I was hit with a ruler on a number of occasions for “showing off” or  doing long division “the quick way”.   In grade 6 I was banned from maths and english games in class because I always knew the answers which meant that no-one else had a chance.  I had to sit by myself and watch everyone else struggle and not be allowed to help.   I began to get so miserable.  By the time I finished primary school as DUX, I was being bullied by other students for my intelligence, for being English and even for being skinny.  On a few occasions I was even threatened at knife point by another student. I told no-one.   I thought I knew how to fix it though.    As I began grade 8 I vowed never to be top of the class again and I even tried failing exams on purpose.  My class results started to slip, but I realised that I wasn’t really happy.  And to top it all, I was now being teased and laughed at for NOT being top of the class. 

Towards the end of grade 8 - first year of high school, my father’s work took me to my final school destination in a regional city - no need now for the boarding school for which I had won a scholarship.  I was full of good intention - I would be able to prove myself again.  BUT the mind is a powerful thing.  I couldn’t for the life of me turn things around.  I was still a good student, but I could no longer put pen to paper on a written test or read multiple choice without making stupid mistakes.  I COULD NOT pass an exam.  As soon as an assignment or an exam hit the desk in front me I would freeze and my mind would be completely empty.  My essays became a series of dot points containing all the facts, but nothing else.  I was called lazy at home due to my results, and I began to take it on board - I was beginning to believe it.

Gradually,  I was failing almost every subject except art (which not surprisingly I did not enjoy). I had gone from top of every class to literally the bottom of every class.  Music and Dance kept me going and also gave me my escape route from school.  I was part of the school Stage Band and concert band, learned flute and tenor saxophone at school and studied ballet externally.  I made friends with the school office staff who would mark me away at dance or music classes when I needed to escape.  Nobody ever knew what I was going through, although I have an idea that my friends in the office suspected. Unfortunately during my last two years at school I was made to give up my dance to concentrate on improving my school work - I lost that escape route.

By now the tears had started - at school because I didn’t want to be there and then I’d cry all weekend at home because frankly I would rather have been at school.  I had nowhere to go.  

With the problems at home, the looming end of school was especially terrifying.  I had nothing to show for my years of study - there was really nothing I could do in those days, but become a secretary or shop assistant.  I did both.  I moved out of home at 17 and worked one full time job in an engineering office, part time in a dress boutique and part time at my parents picture framing business.  All in an effort to prove that I had some worth.  I would walk to work at the office at 6am in the morning and not leave until 6pm. Then work weekends and Thursday nights at my other jobs.

But then life caught up with me and at the ripe old age of 18 I collapsed after contracting Ross River Fever.  I was bedridden for 6 months and had to move back into the family home  (another story for later).  This culminated in diagnoses of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, early onset arthritis, depression and anxiety and in all honesty I did not expect to make it to 30 years of age.  BUT I was determined.  There are many stories to tell around my long recovery, but those I will share in parts at later stages.

Surprisingly though,  I didn’t give up on myself.   I’m here!  I’m fit, healthy, happy and living my dream.  I learnt to change my thinking.  It did take me a good few decades, but I’ve never given up. I have multiple  qualifications in different areas as I found that studying outside of school suited me well.  

I now understand the workings of the mind in creating reality.  Life really and truly is what you make it.  You can make it negative or you can make it positive.  The choice really is up to you.

In the words of  Mike Dooley  “Thoughts become things. Choose the good ones” 
to edit.

I don't know who sent me this little cartoon, but it really struck a chord with me.  It's to do with a lesson I've learned (very belatedly) during this whole COVID-19 episode.  You see, I have always equated recieving help as being pampered.  Silly I know.  Maybe it was my upbringing that forced me to become so fiercely independent, but I've finally figured out how much of a disservice I've been doing myself.

You see it wasn't actually the pandemic that stopped me in my tracks - in fact living on a farm and enjoying being isolated anyway, it really had the opposite effect.  I went in to overdrive.  Working more, supporting other people and actually quite enjoying myself and getting sooooo much done.   "I don't need other people around me anyway." was my way of thinking.   So the universe (or my higher self) kind of decided that I needed to learn an important lesson.  

One day whilst home alone, taking my dog for a walk,  I tripped down the front step injuring my foot.  I couldn't stand myself back up and Hector the Cavoodle was careening  out towards the road, dragging his lead behind him.  My first thought was for Hector and I tried to call him back to me, but I must have frightened him when I fell and he would not come when called.  I dragged myself off the steps and onto the grass and lay down having the idea that he would want to lick my face and play.  This he did and I managed to secure his lead to  the veranda post.  I then realised that I didn't have my mobile phone with me to call for help, but as luck would have it, I had had a call earlier on my landline, and taken it outside to talk.  Instead of putting the phone back in its cradle, I had just opened the flyscreen and placed the phone on the floor, just inside.  I managed to crawl back up the steps and call my husband at work. Now, being the "strong independent woman" that I am, I had NEVER in the 40 years we've been together, asked him for help during  my long periods of illness or my many  silly  injuries.  Therefore, it came as a bit of a shock to me that now that I'm not as young as I used to be, I quite possibly would have to ask him to help me stand up (and God forbid, more).   He, poor thing, is the kind that hides away, or puts up a barrier when confronted with any kind of ill health or suffering, so I saved him the worry and called an ambulance.  These lovely paramedics were so kind and helpful.  They splinted my foot, carried me to the ambulance and hubby met us at the hospital. 

A few hours, xrays and consultations later I was dispatched home with a pair of crutches and instructions to keep off my foot for two weeks and to then have more Xrays.   Turns out I had torn all the ligaments quite severely, pulled the muscles and tendons and ended up with a beautifully multi coloured foot.  This would mean weeks, if not months of time off it.

Although it wasn't broken I was in quite a lot of pain but the worst of it???  It began to look as though I would have  to ask my husband for help with cooking, cleaning, walking the dog.  I knew he wouldn't do anything without being asked.  He just wasn't used to it and I wasn't used to asking. Consequently, I tried to do everything I could and spent a good few days in tears.  

Over the few months prior I had been doing quite a lot of work on self love and self worth and at the end of the first week, when I finally allowed myself to accept that I HAD actually injured myself severely and it wasn't just my imagination, I had an epiphany.   What if asking for help and allowing people to help you is part of self love and self worth?  Had all of this happened to me to make me realise that I didn't know how to love myself, to honour my body and to give myself time?  And do you know?  As soon as I made this realisation, the energy changed.  Something changed in my husband too.  I didn't even need to ask for help any more.  He was offering and I was allowing.  

It's been two months now since I injured my foot and although i am pushing myself to heal quickly, I've been honouring myself and allowing people to help me. I think it's brought my husband and I closer together too.   I'm back on my feet again now, and although still in a little pain (though this is nothing new for me) Hector and I are walking twice a day.  I am quite sure that my husband secretly enjoyed his walks with the dog,  but he says he doesn't miss them.  He gets enough exercise on the farm.  

Anyway - Message to self!!!!  Accepting help is NOT the same as being pampered.

​I love myself unconditionally, I deserve the best in life.  I AM love.

Growing up was a difficult process for me.  I had a less than happy childhood with many forms of abuse by many different people.  I was bullied wherever I went, by children and adults alike.  By the time I hit high school, I was afraid of everything and everyone.  I was scared to go to school and scared to be at home.  I hated weekdays and hated weekends.  Each night I would lie awake and wonder how I would get through the next day.  Those that know me from high school would probably remember me in tears most days in my senior years.  

BUT

During these years, something miraculous was also happening.  Something that kept me going,  something that I wouldn't recognise and understand until many, many years later.  Each and every morning as I stepped outside, as I did every morning at about 5am, I would be flooded with a warm, white gold light.  I would feel instant peace, instant bliss and I would KNOW that I could get through another day.  This happened spontaneously each day until the day I moved out of home at age 17.  

At 18 I contracted a severe form of Ross River Fever and was bedridden for more than 6 months during which time I had to move back to my parents home.  It was a horrible experience and resulted in a thirteen year journey through chronic fatigue, depression and anxiety.

During the years of therapy that followed, I was often asked how my heart had managed to remain so full of love.  Most people, I was told, who had been through what I had been through in my childhood and beyond, would have crumbled, would have been on the streets, alcoholics, addicts of some kind - but here I was relatively sane and with a heart apparently radiating love.  And what I struggled to understand was how I could ever let anyone love me back.  I was so undeserving and so messed up.   When, during therapy, I was asked to think of a happy experience, I could honestly say that I could not remember one. Sometime in my twenties, I ditched all medications, all therapists and decided I needed to heal myself.  After all, since I was still around, I obviously had a purpose. I just needed to find it.

My healing journey is another story altogether, but with the decision made, I began to once again have glimpses of this golden white light connection from my childhood.  I began to start imagining it happening until it actually did.  I pictured that white gold light above me, And I began to hold on to it.  Breathe it in, fill myself up and feel that instant bliss, that joy of life.  And it became a regular part of my healing journey. 

I understand now, that I was so very lucky to have had the experience that I did in my childhood because it enabled me to recognise that light. And I believe that it stopped because I needed to make it become conscious.  I needed to learn that I could connect to the universe, I could draw in the energy and unconditional love at will. I needed to hit rock bottom to learn to heal myself and others. 
There are  many books and writings that speak of calling in the light, charging yourself with love and then radiating it into the world.  This is how we heal each other and the world around us.  

 It keeps your vibration high, your connection to the source strong and with this you can face anything.  You can create miracles.
​
Meditation
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths into your whole body.   Then imagine roots growing from the soles of your feet into the earth and feel the earths energy traveling up through those roots into your body, anchoring your, feeding you, healing you.  Then imagine or feel a ball of golden white light hovering above your head.  Breathe it in through your crown and feel it filling your whole body with light.  Let it mingle with the earth energy, filling each and every cell within you.  Then let that light expand outside of your body so that you are cocooned in light.  Take a few more deep breaths and imagine or feel a pink light radiating inside your heart.  Allow this light to grow until it fills your chest.  Then send a beam from your heart out into the universe and watch it enveloping the earth and all of its beings.  The whole world needs love right now and we can all contribute.   When you are ready, take a few deep breaths and open your eyes.  

Do this exercise every day and you will find that it will become spontaneous for you.  You will only have to intend it and it is done.  You will know it is done because you will feel the energy and the bliss and the joy. 

Namaste
​Jane

 
​

The Chakra System Part 1
Throughout history, the idea of a universal energy percieved throughout all of nature has been held by mystics, religious practices and more recently Western Scientists.  Think od the Indian spiritual tradition of prana; the Chinese calling vital energy Chi: the Jewish Kabala referring to astral light and the Christian religious paintings indicating a field of light or halo surrounding Jesus and other religious figures.
As I mentioned in my last blog,  human beings can be viewed as networks of complex energy fields that interact with physical and cellular systems.  The physical system resonates at a particular vibration and is an integral part vibrating at a lower frequency with the higher energy systems surrounding it. These higher energy systems referred to as our subtle bodies are composed of matter with quite different frequency characteristics than those of the physical bodies.  These systems are physically superimposed on one another in the same space and together they play vital  parts in the total functioning of the human being.
Various writings from the Indian Yogic teachings refer to special energy systems which exist within these subtle bodies. They are known as Chakras

The word Chakra comes from the Sanskrit meaning 'wheels or disks', and they resemble whirling vortices of subtle energies. These energy systems are associated with accessing universal energy and transmuting it into a useable form within the human structure.

The origin of the seven fold chakra system that is most commonly followed today,  has its roots in the Hindu culture.  The earliest mention of the term chakra is said to come from the Vedas, the four holy books of the Hindus, believed to date back before 2500 BC.  However, the notion of seven “maps of consciousness” for optimum well-being goes back much further.

Physiologically, the chakras are involved in the flow of higher energies via subtle energetic channels to the cellular structure of the physical body. Therefore, the chakra systems seem to function as energy transformers, stepping down energy from a higher frequency to a lower level of energy. This energy is then translated into the hormonal and physiological system to bring about cellular changes throughout the body.

Although the human energy system is said to have many chakras, and new ones are being discovered all the time, the traditional Hindu system names the seven major ones previously mentioned. The location of the seven chakras associated with the physical body corresponds with the major nerve networks. Each major chakra on the front of the body is paired with its corresponding one on the back of the body. Together they form the front and rear aspects of a chakra.  There are also  believed to be at least twenty-one minor chakras.

Energetically, the chakras are openings that allow energy to flow into and out of the aura. As this energy is associated with a form of consciousness, the energy exchange is experienced in terms of seeing, hearing, feeling, sensing, intuiting or direct knowing.

The tips of the chakras where they are connected to the Universal Energy Field (UEF) are referred to as the heart or root of the chakra. Within the heart of the chakra are seals which control exchange of energy between the layers of the auric field (subtle bodies).  To allow certain energy to flow from one layer to another through the chakra, it must pass through the seals in the heart of the chakra. This is most probably why the Yogic literature uses the flower analogy - a lotus flower opening and shutting to explain the chakra.

Even when we are perfectly still – as in a static yoga pose or sitting in silence doing nothing more than breathing, - the chakras are doing a dynamic dance.  They are opening, closing, shifting, spinning, expanding and contracting. 

The energy generated by the Chakras moves up and down the spine.  When flowing freely, that energy can connect us with the Earth at the same time that it connects us with the Higher Realms of existence.  The energy has the power to lift us out of fatigue, depression, illness and despair.  It has the ability to bring body, mind and soul together as one. It is therefore important to open the chakras and increase the flow of energy, the more energy flows through the system the healthier the human system will be.  

A brief look at the individual Chakras

The first chakra, Muladhara (Root Chakra) is situated near the coccyx and is associated with the adrenals, triangular shaped glands that cap each of the kidneys.  These glands secrete a variety of hormones including those that regulate the body’s metabolism.  These glands also produce adrenalin, the hormone essential for our fight or flight response.  The Root Chakra is associated with survival.
The second chakra, Svadisthana (Sacral Chakra) originates near the tip of the coccyx or sacrum.  It is associated with the male and female reproductive organs or gonads.  Our relationship with our own sexuality and issues of emotional balance concerning that is a key association of this chakra.
The third chakra, Manipura, (Solar Plexus Chakra) lies in the upper middle abdomen below the tip of the sternum. It is associated with the pancreas which lies behind the stomach and secretes a variety of substances essential for the effective digestion of food. 
The fourth chakra, Anahata, (Heart Chakra) can be found in the mid sternal region directly over the heart and is associated with the thymus gland. The thymus produces hormones that stimulate general growth, particularly in early life.
The fifth chakra, Vishudda, (Throat Chakra) is situated in the neck near the Adam's apple, directly over the thyroid gland. It has associations with both the thyroid and parathyroid glands.  The thyroid manufactures thyroxine, which controls the body’s metabolic rate, and the parathyroid gland controls the level of calcium in the blood stream. 
The sixth chakra, Anja, (Brow or Third Eye Chakra) in the mid-forehead above the bridge of the nose is situated over the pituitary gland.  This vital gland influences growth, metabolism, and general body chemistry. 
The seventh chakra, Sahasrara, (Crown Chakra) is located on top of the head over the pingland which produces melatonin, a hormone that affects the modulation of wake/sleep patterns and photoperiodic (seasonal) functions.